Robin Brown tumbles

Things that I like that I don't have the time or inclination to blog about properly. Click on the link to find out more stuff about Robin Brown
Sep 23
i hope it IS Marmite

i hope it IS Marmite

(Source: 4gifs, via foomandoonian)

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Sep 22

Paul McCartney raps a vegetarian call-to-action in a building Jamaican accent.

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Sep 01

Excellent Cafe!


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May 23

The Five Types of Twitter update

There are only five types of Facebook status update. That’s a fact. There’s no actual evidence to support that claim, but it’s a fact nonetheless.

I’ve whittled it down to five types by looking over my status updates over the last year; they all fit perfectly into one of the five types of update I’ve identified. Oh, there are sub-categories and the like, but it’s all pretty much there. Here they are:

  • Pop-culture references – Music, film, gaming, gossip
  • Calls for response – ID this media; sympathise; commiserate; do you agree with me?
  • Observation, anecdote or comment – The day-to-day minutae and ephemera that people blurt out almost without thinking
  • Request for information/advice – Plumbers, holidays, cars, travel arrangements, food, weather, money…
  • Calls to action – Links, polls, goto this event, requests for voting for a community choir in some talent competition…

  • And that’s it. Think about every banal Facebook update you’ve ever seen. I guarantee they lot into one of these divisions.

    See if you can slot my updates into one of the five categories. And, if you want bonus Internets, see if you can identify all the pop-culture references.

    The five types of Facebook updates

    Now THAT’S sarcasm…

    like a kestrel having sex above a television set


    has not impressed the bloke from Go West

    Went to Jodrell Bank. Closed. Jodrell Wank

    Went to Jodrell Bank today; thought of Logopolis

    I’m going to thrash you to with in a inch of your life.. and then.. i’m going to have you

    Guess what. I lied. Guess what. So did I. But I lied… Twice. … I didn’t think of that

    I’m not a frying pantheist!

    Bowman is reading out the bass hunter sex charges to me while the India/SA one-sayer is on telly. A chilling vision of how things could have worked out very differently.

    Fillet o fish for my wife

    if you don’t love me now you will never love me again

    5 nights in 5 consecutive beds. Not as exciting as it sounds

    The King’s Speech contains ‘strong language in a speech therapy context’

    Ross Noble is on stonking form on I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue

    Which way to the bloodbath?

    Would you smash it?

    Where in shitting crikey is my nose?

    A starling is running through it’s list of impersonations at St Michaels Station like a sturnidae Rory Bremner

    I don’t like to take naps. I don’t like to wake up more than once a day. ‘Cause when I first wake up I get that shock of who I am and everything. I… I really don’t like to do that more than once a day.

    got telephones for eyes

    Whatever happened to Tiggy Ovington?

    it’s the weekend. i want fags, sleep, booze, dr who, pub with friends, good food, culture, telly, buzzards, walks and sex. Up yours, work

    points with mute distaste

    whenever i watch Kill Bill I have a very strong mental image of Quentin Tarantino frantically, furiously wanking his naff little cock off

    a relentless and merciless morale-killer

    like a battenberg owned by Jesus that can miraculously talk

    No word can describe how tired I am. So why am I not in bed?

    I once had a dream so I packed up and split for the city

    Crushed like a new potato in Jamie Oliver’s kitchen

    Just attempted to move my eyes down page of magazine by moving mouse on desk

    No exclamation marks. Anywhere. Ever. Excise them from your mind. Do not use exclamation marks.

    Just saw Don Horton on Bargain Hunt

    it is what it is

    i’m a tiger when my dander’s up

    Adam and Joe back on 6Music? Excellent!

    The new Greggs chicken tikka slice is quite, quite horrible

    promises to aliens have no validity

    Ever heard of the double bluff?

    He who laughs last… laughs longest

    And the Rodneys are queueing up… God forbid

    Have you ever retired a human by mistake?

    Has exchanged contracts

    Tropical hot dog night

    I reserve a window seat at table, facing in the quiet carriage. my seat is non facing, aisle, no table. And two guards talking loudly! In the quiet carriage!

    Hey you sat behind me on the train. Close your fucking mouth when you’re eating crisps, you fucking animal.

    Logopolis. Murray Gold is shit.

    Do you want the genital cuff?

    “Now!” …. something something something. That brilliant “Now!” speech…

    all my facts about lighthouses are wrong

    misses his fat, lazy, stupid cat

    General Ham?

    Darkness outside; inside, the radio’s prayer; Rockall. Malin. Dogger. Finisterre

    Botham: We’re too straightforward with the bowling. Botham: Sometime we try too many things with the ball. The man’s an idiot.

    I’m afraid I’m going to have to insist you stop using the word ‘banter’.

    This is the day your life will surely change

    and they catch him and they say he’s mental

    Novel introduction to training provider assessor: “I do wear a hearing aid and I am slightly deaf, so as a result I may come across as rude, sharp and aggressive.” Might pinch that.

    demure…. sleazy…

    I dreamed of you last night, You had a different face, Or maybe just a haircut

    A man told me to beware of 33

    A funky ball of tits from outer space

    Ever see a photo of yourself and think ‘who the fuck is that old man?

    Editing: -Hi – do you want to do a quick Q+A? -Sure, here’s 3,000 words of formless text

    Wonder if anyone’s ever opened a furniture shop called Ottoman Empire

    Don’t know if I’ve ever been so disbelieving of a death as Lis Sladen’s. Sad.

    Today I was filmed angrily throwing an ice cream off a cliff

    I went to Rotherham and longed for Threads

    will you just read grazia and bake your stupid cakes?

    Over the years I’ve come to regard you as people I… met

    Enjoying the high bombardment of positive ions in the atmosphere

    Word of the day is… QILF

    First game of the season for Sefton Park CC – I am the oldest man in the team. And feel like it

    What about Basil…where’s my snake?

    If I’d got on the electoral role in time I’d be voting yes to AV today. Have you seen the No camp? Baddies, by any stretch of the imagination

    Drove a monster truck over a police car; fired a bonnet-mounted paintball gun. Two more bucket list items ticked off

    On the receiving end of such a powerful headbonk from the cat that scalding tea jolted all over my chest

    Are the red satin sheets a bridge too far?

    What’s your name? Who’s your Daddy?

    It seems as if I’m going to have to Goto war with – clearly they do not understand my power of teh internets

    like butter scraped over too much bread

    My cat’s snoring

    I’m officially the 25th most important influencer in the UK automotive industry on Twitter. #winninginsomesmallinconsequentialway

    Odd day. Started with a hangover. Stood around in the rain for hours. Got hit in the chin by a cricket ball. Good episode of Doctor Who. Ended with hangover.

    If airport departure lounge screens said ‘wait miserably and impotently’ instead of ‘eat drink shop and relax’ I’d respect them a lot more

    Classic French fare last couple of days. Foie gras, lobster, strong coffee and fags

    Arrived at CDG in plenty of time for flight home. Five hours, to be precise

    Sickly sweet Dr Hook hot lovin’ schmaltz or disturbing sexual threat? You decide: And when your body’s had enough of me and I’m laying flat out on the floor When you think I’ve loved you all I can, I’m gonna love you a little bit more

    Gave Beau some catnip. Tried rolling around in it myself. Nothing.

    ……………………………………………………. …fuckstick?

    A three crackpipe problem…

    Warm copies make everything better

    I don’t give a fuck about Kenny Dalglish!

    The revolution will be streamed
    All the fucking internet warriors would be first against the wall in my revolution. Digital shithouses

    Tonight I’ve been walking in the rain. Someone’s been talking and I’ve got the blame.


    If you had to be a participant in horror film The Mist or horror film The Fog, which would you choose?

    Is it just people in Hartlepool who call things ‘shan’?

    What goes on in this town is none of your business

    This episode of Panorama is like seeing Ted Maul berate Sainsbur McManus in Cowsick #fuckoffyoupatronisingtwats

    Mentally hilarious

    Just found the best ‘actual’ name ever among contacts: Quinton Drawbridge

    distracted by kestrels

    Looking over some old gaming ‘lance I did, with some suggestions for sone author-based spin-offs that never got off the ground: Salmanazars Rushdie’s Poolhall Madness; Ian McEwan’s Sim Asylum and Clare Rayner’s Colchester Rally Inferno. I don’t think I ever worked for Future again after this batch.

    Think I’ll call myself Donald Twain

    ants are unable to relax and enjoy life

    An empty pride, a hopeless vanity, a dreadful arrogance, a stupefyingly futile conceit… but at least it’s something to hang on to

    Driving through Cologne with an Argentinian and two French guys listening to It’s Raining Men on the radio

    Choke on em

    Now, eating monster munch in Huddersfield, three hours after watching Bargain Hunt in a Range Rover Sport on Saddleworth Moor and 14 hours after getting up to play cricket, I’m wondering what can possibly happen next. Really hope that’s not my epitaph

    There are coal tits in my yard!

    Bon chic bin genre

    Overheard in Chichester station: ragamuffin behaving badly answers phone: “Yes I did. Yeeees! KFC Mum, alright?!”

    A day of driving electric cars with Kryten. My job is nothing if not eclecti

    Last week I bought two grand’s worth of Wimbledon tickets according to my bank account. That’s insult to injury.

    I laughed at this quote from RHE Observer for about ten minutes. A biography of Bercow by the BBC journalist Bobby Friedman attributes his ambition and desire to get one over the likes of Cameron, in part, to the fact that he was bullied at school. He was teased for his small stature and fear of wasps.

    And the fact that you don’t understand, Casts a shadow over this land.

    Proffered a napkin by kindly but slightly disapproving lady, clearly recognising that a chap with mayonnaise in beard and eating a sandwich with failing structural integrity is clearly in trouble

    Try taking a pot of Vaseline through security in a see-through plastic bag without feeling like a raging bum fetishist. Go on, just try.

    Unaccountably covered in baby spiders

    I am acing this edition of Catchphrase tonight

    Lost cat. In Arthur Street. Black and white.

    My cat came back after nine days. Pathetically grateful to the cat Gods.

    You spell Robin with an I if it’s a boy. With an I. NOT a Y.

    My favourite word has been, and always will be, ‘frot’.

    Actual stage direction: “Dracula fucks wildly”

    If my cat did status updates I reckon his latest would read ‘just got back from three hours of staring slightly to the left of other cats’

    And now on BBC4, middle-aged men get to stare at Victoria Coren’s ginormous breasts while pretending to answer questions abouT hieroglyphics

    What’s a cocoa shunter?

    it’s some book week thing; this is genuinely the 5th sentence of the 56th page of the closest book to me: “Deciding that the strange apparition probably wasn’t dangerous, the guard took his hand off the blaster, and reached for his belt communicator – and collapsed in a heap as K9 promptly shot him down”

    Just a little explosion!

    Will’s Mum from Inbetweeners has done a nude scene? Oh good God.

    A Succulent Violin, Vaccine Unlit Soul, Vulcanise Cunt Oil #lucienlaviscountanagrams

    Surely a train journey is the only time you’d drink a pint of coffee?

    Frigging hell an ex is on the Great British Bake Off. This is like the start to a Nick Hornby novel.

    Had a flashback – again – to the time I asked for a ‘scotch on the rocks’

    What The Fuck? “The assailant can be seen to place his head down by the victim. He starts eating away at his face and his head. The male has had his two ears bitten off, part of his nose bitten off and half of his lip bitten off.The attack reminded me of a lion wrenching the flesh off a gazelle.”

    i know now why you cry… but it is something i can never do….

    there’s still some of the same stuff we got yesterday

    Friday morning immediately brings an exceptionally loud Irish girl. Fuck you Friday morning

    Spin spin spin the wheel of justice; see how fast the bastard turns!

    On this day in 2010 i wrote ‘I hate Sebastian Coe!’

    Text from brother: Which would you rather be called: Alan Viscount, Phillip Bourbon or Robin Custard-Cream?

    Seem to have injured my neck but don’t know how. Mindful of Larry David’s views on this.

    1AM stop-cock traumas – make your own jokes up

    If anyone ever mentions the ‘wow factor’ to me ever again I’ll punch them in the teeth


    Will the internet ever get tired of feeding me idiots to destroy?

    Walked up a mountain today. It rained. Then we walked back down a waterfall.

    Thinking about it it’s hard to decide on a favourite moment from the stag. The Fabulous! morphsuit-clad Jamie Bowman emerging from the toilets at Stenhousemuir; the walk up a mountain that became a waterfall; seeing my mates ziplining down a swollen river; the merciless Platoon-like paintball massacre of the stag; the hydro-electric power station; or the violent midnight game of rugger where I flattened Jamie, thrashed the opposition and ended up giving my details to a WPC about half my age. And I didn’t even mention the Crab From Islamabad…

    Larry. I like you. What’s not to like? Ah… You’re a Jew Excellent episode of Curb. I think I might offer myself out as a social assassin

    Have seen an E Type and a Mark II Jag in last two days

    Having gone to the countryside fir a few days’ holiday I now seem to be watching Embarrassing Bodies with my family

    Loading up on carbs and getting an early night. Gotta be up at 2pm for the Grand Prix…

    Ticketed for doing 80mph on a three-lane motorway? That’s gotta be pretty unlucky

    I want a dulcitone

    Today I bought a Three Colours: Red poster. When I got home the latest RSPB magazine was waiting for me. For a few minutes I was the most middle class person in the world


    Set in the near future, where robot boxing is a top sport, a struggling promoter feels he’s found a champion in a discarded robot

    So, I’ve now got a motorsport licence. How could this possibly go wrong?

    Impossible to look at Wolverhampton without dreaming of hydrogen bombs exploding above it

    A 25-year-old Vauxhall Astra GTE nearly ended me today. But a dab of oppo and I was away

    Actual headline: MC Hammer to take on Google with rival search engine

    Dreams last night: a game of rugby in a WH Smiths a mile long; winning a marathon and being presented with some batteries as a prize; being exorcised by a catholic priest using a pub quiz machine. Your cod-Freudian analysis please

    Received a letter from the vets. Beau is now officially a ‘mature or senior’ cat. Wonder how long before I get a similar letter from the doctors.

    i’ve started writing an article at 11.49 – I’m a fool to myself

    Lots of best man speech advice things say five minutes max. I’m in serious trouble

    And so to the wedding of Jamie and Becky. I expect they’re both straightening their hair as I type

    “Yes it’s true. This man has no dick.”

    Got train to St michaels; walked home; walked back to St michaels to pick up car; drove home

    Lid on train: “I’m really tired; I’m still asleep. It must be the hour going back…” Personally my money was on it being the smack

    In fairness, Pete Tranter’s sister is hot

    To Portugal to drive an electric car tomorrow – and how many people can say that?

    I’ve missed these dingy Heathrow hotel rooms.

    Long couple of days. Today comprised: 2 electric cars, a Nissan Cube, a flight, a train and a bus. Welcomed home by some fucking idiot dog walker who left a number of bundles of dog shit, like small pagan offerings, in my empty recycling crate

    New Bravissimo catalogue. The postal service’s way of telling me the woman I bought my house off had massive norks.

    Shan as

    It’s mischievous, not mischieveeous, dammit

    Today I piloted the TARDIS with Terrance Dicks

    I think the unions have chosen entirely the wrong grounds on which to base this fight, and played in Tory hands as a result, but given some of the disgraceful shit from the Tories today, I’m happy to aim an emphatic ‘fuck you’ in their general direction

    Taking Egg-Shaped Fred for tea

    Dear Facebook – I have zero interest in following CEOs of silicon valley digital agencies. Here are people I would follow: Tom Baker, JJ Burnel, Geoff Boycott, Mick Foley, Tony Benn, umm…. Paul Daniels


    Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall is spitroasting nine birds on More 4. Before the watershed too.

    “One of your friends read the article ‘I’m still a virgin as my boyfriend couldn’t penetrate me’ on the Guardian”

    Beautiful South’s Perfect 10: a song about fat sex that I utterly despise and was once referred to by Simon Hoggart as ‘the best pop song of the year’. The daft twat.

    Hello Facebook. Why the chuff would I wan to know that my friends are posting ‘about Christmas’?

    The Toyota Land Cruiser was known as the Toyota BJ when it first went on sale in the UK

    “How about a detective who dangles a piece of string?”

    Shit. Twat. Fuck. ****. You made me do that Auto Correct. You hear me? YOU MADE ME

    Neil Morrissey dislikes nouvelle cuisine #bbc2

    Stupid like a fox

    I’m givin’ this whole thing as a promotional expense, that’s why I invited clients instead of friends

    Ah, the arrangement of the First Nowell that’s used on The Box of Delights on Radio 4. Beautiful

    Bedded, knobbed and bumsticked

    BBC4 doc on decay potentially fascinating, but seems to consist of a man constantly expressing surprise at old food going off

    Hilarious famed Hartlepool insult: You look like a new-born pig

    Comments (View)
    Feb 26

    Hartlepool to Liverpool, avoiding motorways

    There was a very good reason for this, but it wasn’t much fun


    Start out on Park Road


    At traffic signals continue forward



    At traffic signals turn right onto the A689


    At roundabout take the 2nd exit onto the A689

    The South


    At roundabout take the 2nd exit onto the A689



    At roundabout take the 2nd exit onto the A689


    At roundabout take the 3rd exit onto the A689

    Bishop Auckland


    At roundabout take the 1st exit onto the A689


    At roundabout take the 2nd exit onto the A689

    Bishop Auckland


    At roundabout take the 1st exit onto the A689



    At roundabout take the 2nd exit onto the A689



    At roundabout take the 2nd exit onto the A689



    At roundabout take the 2nd exit onto the A689

    Bishop Auckland


    At Sands Hall Roundabout take the 2nd exit onto the A689

    Durham, Bishop Auckland


    At roundabout take the 2nd exit onto the A689

    Bishop Auckland


    At Rushyford roundabout take the 3rd exit onto the A689


    At roundabout take the 2nd exit onto the A689

    Bishop Auckland


    At roundabout take the 2nd exit onto the A689

    Bishop Auckland



    At roundabout take the 1st exit onto the A688

    Bishop Auckland


    At roundabout take the 2nd exit onto the A688

    Barnard Castle


    At roundabout take the 2nd exit onto the A688

    West Auckland, Barnard Castle


    At roundabout take the 1st exit onto the A688

    Barnard Castle


    At roundabout take the 2nd exit onto the A688

    Barnard Castle


    At roundabout take the 1st exit onto the A688

    Barnard Castle


    At roundabout take the 1st exit onto the A688

    Barnard Castle


    At roundabout take the 2nd exit onto the A688

    Barnard Castle


    At roundabout take the 1st exit onto the A688

    Barnard Castle


    Bear right onto the A688

    Barnard Castle



    At mini-roundabout bear right onto the A67

    Town Centre


    Bear left onto Horse Market - A67

    Bowes, Brough


    At roundabout take the 2nd exit onto the A67

    Bowes, Brough


    Bear right onto the Bridgegate - A67


    At T-junction turn right onto the A67



    Turn left onto the A67




    Bear right, then merge onto the A66




    At Brough branch left, then turn left onto the A685



    At mini-roundabout continue forward onto the A685


    At mini-roundabout continue forward onto the A685


    At mini-roundabout bear left onto the A685



    At roundabout take the 1st exit onto the A685



    Turn right


    Arrive on unnamed road

    Section time 1:40, Total time 1:40


    Start out on unnamed road



    Turn right onto the A685



    At T-junction turn left onto the A6

    Town Centre, Lancaster, Skipton, Windermere


    At mini-roundabout continue forward

    Lancaster, Barrow, Skipton, Town Centre


    At crossroads continue forward

    Lancaster, Barrow, Skipton


    Bear left (one-way)


    Keep in left-hand lanes then continue forward onto the A6

    Lancaster M6, Skipton A591


    Bear left then right

    Lancaster, Skipton


    Keep in right-hand lane then turn right over river bridge and immediately


    Turn left

    Lancaster, Skipton


    Warning: Speed Cameras along the A6  RP_gatso_icon2.gif



    At roundabout take the 1st exit, then merge onto the A591



    At Brettargh Holt Junction continue forward onto the A591



    Continue forward onto the A590



    At roundabout take the 2nd exit onto the A65

    Kirkby Lonsdale



    At roundabout take the 3rd exit onto the A6070

    Holme, Burton



    At roundabout take the 2nd exit onto the A6

    Lancaster, Carnforth


    At roundabout take the 3rd exit onto the A6

    Carnforth, Morecambe A5105


    At roundabout take the 2nd exit onto the A6


    At traffic signals continue forward onto the A6



    At mini-roundabout continue forward onto the A6


    Warning: Speed Cameras along the A6  RP_gatso_icon2.gif



    Keep in right-hand lane then bear right onto the A6

    City Centre



    At traffic signals turn left onto the A6

    City Centre


    At roundabout take the 2nd exit onto the A6

    The South, M6


    At roundabout take the 2nd exit onto the A6



    Warning: Speed Cameras along the A6  RP_gatso_icon2.gif


    At roundabout take the 1st exit onto the A6



    At roundabout take the 2nd exit onto the A6




    At traffic signals turn right onto the A59

    Liverpool, Southport A565


    Warning: Speed Cameras along the A59  RP_gatso_icon2.gif


    Continue forward onto the A59




    Branch left, then merge onto the A582

    Liverpool, Southport A565



    At traffic signals turn left onto the A59

    Liverpool, Southport A565


    At roundabout take the 1st exit onto the A59

    Liverpool, Southport A565


    At roundabout take the 2nd exit onto the A59

    Liverpool, Southport A565


    At roundabout take the 3rd exit onto the A59

    Liverpool, Southport A565


    At roundabout take the 2nd exit onto the A59

    Liverpool, Southport A565


    At traffic signals turn left onto the A59

    Liverpool, Chorley


    At mini-roundabout continue forward then immediately


    At next mini-roundabout continue forward onto the A59



    Warning: Speed Cameras along the A59  RP_gatso_icon2.gif


    At roundabout take the 3rd exit onto the A59



    At roundabout take the 2nd exit onto the A59


    At roundabout take the 2nd exit onto the A59



    Continue forward onto Ormskirk Road - A59



    At traffic signals turn right onto the A59


    At Queens Drive Flyover roundabout take the 2nd exit onto the A59

    City Centre, Birkenhead, Wallasey


    Warning: Speed Cameras along the A59  RP_gatso_icon2.gif



    At traffic signals branch left, then merge onto the A5047

    M6 South, M62 Manchester



    At traffic signals turn right onto Norton Street - B5173

    Ring Road, University, Lime St Station



    At traffic signals turn right onto the A5047

    Widnes A561, Liverpool Airport, Birkenhead, Wallasey


    Arrive on Hunter Street

    Section time 2:37, Total time 4:17

    Comments (View)
    Feb 12
    The dispassionate cruelty of predictive search

    The dispassionate cruelty of predictive search

    Comments (View)
    Sep 29

    (Source: consumeconsume)

    Comments (View)
    Aug 13

    Suggested interview questions


    > I was wondering if you’d be interested in this story with Julie Edelman, a.k.a. “The Accidental Housewife”.  In this interview, Julie will share her time (and sanity!) saving tips for getting the kids dressed, breakfast on the table and lunch boxes packed –with food they’ll eat, not trade! 
    > I’ve included the advisory below with more information and date of tour. Please let me know if you have any questions or would like to book a slot.

    > Best, 

    > Ruben 

    > “The Accidental Housewife” on How to Survive the Everyday Breakfast Dramas and Lunchbox Dilemmas…And Still Get The Kids Off to School in 20 Minutes or Less!

    > Satellite Interviews Available with Julie Edelman, The Accidental Housewife 
    > Tuesday, August 21st from 7:00 AM ET to 11:00 AM ET

    >    Julie Edelman, a.k.a. “The Accidental Housewife,” knows all the madness that goes along with the seemingly simple act of getting the kids out the door each day.  In this interview, Julie will share her time (and sanity!) saving tips for getting the kids dressed, breakfast on the table and lunch boxes packed –with food they’ll eat, not trade! 

    >    As the face of the modern-day homemaker, Julie’s message is one of simple Empowerment:  It’s not always about being Martha, your Mother or your Next-Door Neighbor, but doing the Best We Can, and knowing that it is Good Enough. 

    > Suggested interview questions:

    >     Mornings are madness when you have kids.  What can the modern mom do to make it easier?

    >     Breakfast is supposed to be the most important meal of the day.  How can we get our kids to eat breakfast without a fight?

    >     I know many parents spend a lot of time packing up a healthy lunch, only to find out later that it was all traded away!  How can we get our kids to eat what we pack them?

    >     Can you give us a few examples of easy to pull together lunches that you think the kids will eat? 

    >     Any other advice you have that can help parents get through the morning rush?

    Comments (View)

    For God’s sake

    My name is <redacted>. I am reaching out to you about a video I am currently working on for my client Mentos Singapore. The video is interesting, it calls upon Singaporeans to help raise the national birthrate by well… you know on Singapore’s National Day night (August 9th). 

    I decided to reach out to your Liverpool Culture Blog first of all because I am a big fan of your site and secondly because I thought that this topic could capture the interest of your readers with something a little bit different but still related to your regular blog posts. The combination of relationships, dating, and sex combined with a breath mint should be something quite unique that grabs the attention of new viewers.

    I’ve attached the links to the video and look forward to your input. Feel free to reach out to me if you need any additional info.

    I also think that the cultural differences between Singapore and other countries is rather intriguing, it’s fun to imagine what the response would be if this video was targeting say the United States.

    Video link:

    Comments (View)
    Jul 19

    My TV picks

    This is my list of TV picks for now-sunsetted satire site The News Grind. I came across a file on my desktop and, rather than just deleting them, I thought I’d dump them in my my online dumping ground instead.

    Jeremy Clarkson Insults Minorities

    BBC2, Thursday night

    This week the hilariously outspoken TV presenter has the Jews in his sights.

    Kenny Dalglish’s Banter

    Sky3, Saturday mornings

    Kenny looks at famous examples of banter throughout history. This episode he travels to South Africa to example the banter between whites and blacks under the so-called apartheid regime.

    Top Gear

    BBC3, Friday night

    Richard Hammond reviews the best skunk Peterlee’s streets have to offer

    James May’s Woman Lab

    Monday night, BBC2

    James attempts to create the perfect woman: a big-titted blonde who cooks and doesn’t answer back.

    Paxman’s Lair

    BBC4, Tuesday mornings

    Jeremy Paxman berates quiz show contestants who deems to be thick.


    E4, Wednesday night

    Michael Portillo looks back at the invention of the toilet and how it has shaped society over the last 1,000 years. Reggie Yates, Fearne Cotton, the stars of TOWIE, Myleene Klass, Paddy McGuinness, Chris Moyles, Jimmy Carr and  David Starkey discuss their own faeces.


    More 4, Constantly

    A 66-part series with Griff Rhys-Jones looking at the sky and how it has shaped society over the past eight million years. With David Dimbelby, Clare Short, John Major, Jon Snow and Adrian Chiles.

    Jeremy Waxman

    BBC3, Friday night

    The feared Newsnight host tours nightclubs around the world in an attempt to learn how to mix

    Downton Abbey: After Dark

    Sunday, 11pm

    X-rated version of Downton Abbey, with murder, incest and hardcore sex scenes. This week, a scullery maid gets bummed.

    At Least You’re Not As Fat As This Lot

    ITV1, Wednesday late afternoon

    Dale Winton bullies a morbidly obese family into shedding the pounds by humiliating them at every turn. See who makes it to the final Cream Pie Fight to win their own body weight in peanut butter.

    Idiot comeuppance hour

    ITV3, Every night

    You’ve Been Framed gets a bloody update in this litany of home-video horrors, which does include scenes of dismemberment and violent death. Hosted by Harry Hill.

    Soldiers staring into the middle distance

    ITV1, Sunday nights

    FIrst World War soldiers stare into the middle distance in French fields in this latest adaptation of a romantic warsploitation novel. 

    Chris Rea’s Farm

    Farm TV, Daily

    All the goings on at Chris Rea’s farm, including a suspected outbreak of scrofula, interspersed with some of the north-east rocker’s greatest hit, sung by Chris while he drives about his farm in a JCB he personally restored.

    Pippa Middleton does anal

    All channels, all the time

    To celebrate the Queen’s birthday the extended royal family gives what most of the country has been crying out for: Pippa Middleton to take a penis up her rectum.

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